23 Of The Best Divorce Books For Healing, Support, And Guidance

23 Of The Best Divorce Books For Healing, Support, And Guidance Youve done therapy, youve (hopefully) talked about your feelings together. Your relationship is over, one way or another, and theres only one thing left to deal with: your marriage. Amicable or not, youll need to cut those ties that bind before you get  on with living your best life. For that, youll need some sage advice from the best divorce books out there. Heres a reading list to get you started. (Afterward, head over and check out our best feminist divorcée reads!) Most of the divorce literature out there seems to be geared toward women. Furthermore, it appears to be dominated by white authors writing to the concerns of white communities. While I only found a few authors of color writing about this topic, I hope there are more. I included those that I could find on this list. Likewise, theres almost nothing current about LGBTQ divorce. Im going to go ahead and assume that its just because were so blamed awesome. Otherwise, it means that same-sex marriage hasnt been legal long enough to spawn a niche rainbow divorce industry. These books are all geared toward adults whose relationship has dissolved, is dissolving, or really ought to dissolve. If you need to talk to kids about divorce, we have a reading list for that, too. Teens might want to read on their own. Weve got that covered, too. Divorce Books With Guidance and Advice 1. The African-American Guide to Divorce Drama: Breaking Up Without Breaking Down  by Lester L. Barclay The author of this book is a matrimonial lawyer. He covers the particular considerations of divorce in the Black community, including social, familial, personal, and legal aspects. 2. The Breakup Bible: The Smart Womans Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce  by Rachel Sussman This book, authored by a mental health counselor, provides you with resources for moving past your divorce emotionally. That said, it also touches upon topics like co-parenting with your ex in an emotionally healthy way. Its most helpful if you were the dumpee rather than the dumper. 3. Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After  by Katherine Woodward Thomas A lot of books about emotionally handling divorce focus on women. Not this book! There are pearls of wisdom here for everybody. Its particularly good at helping you identify your relationship patterns. Like our previous book, this one stresses the well-being of any children that you and your ex might have together. 4. Fair Share Divorce for Women: The Definitive Guide to Creating a Winning Solution  by Kathleen A. Miller Lets face it: your divorce is going to get financially sticky. This book contains some solid advice from a CPA who knows her way around a settlement. As the title suggests, this book is most relevant to women. 5. Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J. Elliott If youve ever been in a breakup before, then you already know how hard it is to stop texting, calling, and otherwise contacting the person in whose life you were intimately entangled. If youre struggling to detach, Susan Elliot might have some good advice for you. 6. Its Called A Breakup Because Its Broken: The Smart Girls Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola The author of Hes Just Not That Into You and his wife want you to throw that pity party. Feel your feelings! Then, seek clarity about your relationship and its true relationship to your happiness. Not everything needs to be fixed. Theres some tough love here, but funny anecdotes take the sting out. 7. Sacred Cows: The Truth About Divorce and Marriage by Danielle Teller and Astro Teller There are a lot of myths about divorce out there. The Tellers, a married pair themselves, explode a lot of them in this book. A playful tone lightens the heavy subject matter somewhat. 8. Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder  by Randi Kreger and Bill Eddy Whether or not your ex has been formally diagnosed, this book has some good advice for breaking up with high-conflict people. If you worry about your spouses reaction to a divorce request, this might be a good book to review before you broach the subject. 9. The Storms Cant Hurt the Sky: The Buddhist Path through Divorce by Gabriel Cohen Mixing memoir with advice, this is a unique guide to spiritual balance during tough times. Bonus: Cohen recommends several other useful books about Buddhism for readers who want to explore further. 10. Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirschenbaum Its not unusual to teeter on the brink of divorce, sometimes for years. If this is your situation, do yourself the favor of reading this book. Its a neutral tool for relationship assessment, but can give you the validation you need to make a decision if youre wavering. 11. Uncoupling: How to Survive and Thrive After Breakup and Divorce by Sara Davison Heres a book that will normalize the many challenges of divorce for people who are feeling unsure about whats normal. Davison is a life coach who draws in part upon her own divorce for reference. Divorce Books About Parenting 12. Parenting through Divorce: Helping Your Children Thrive During and After the Split  by Lisa Rene Reynolds, PhD There are a few reactions that you can probably expect from your kids when you announce your divorce. The object of this book is to prepare you to handle those in a healthy way. 13. A Parents Guide to Divorce: How to Raise Happy, Resilient Kids Through Turbulent Times  by Karen Becker Addressing the needs of all age groups, this book is particularly good at addressing specifics. For example, it gives good tips about handling holidays. 14. Talking to Children About Divorce: A Parents Guide to Healthy Communication at Each Stage of Divorce by Jean McBride Any parent who is in the process of divorcing needs to be ready to field questions and head off misconceptions that their kids might or might not voice. A lot of the communication advice in this book could also apply to other difficult conversations. Divorce Memoirs 15. Aftermath: On Marriage and Separation by Rachel Cusk Cusk struggled when her marriage of ten years fell apart. She presents herself with all of her flaws intact in this memoir of divorce and motherhood. 16. A Beautiful, Terrible Thing by Jen Waite Upon discovering that her husband has been massively unfaithful, Waite embarks upon the difficult process of emotionally recovering and escaping from her marriage. 17. Falling Apart in One Piece: One Optimists Journey Through the Hell of Divorce by Stacy Morrison Morrisons husband walked out when she least expected it, leaving her with a new house, a new baby, and a new perspective on life. 18. Happens Every Day: An All-Too-True Story  by Isabel Gillies With candid honesty, Gillies discusses the sacrifices she made for a marriage that quickly fell apart. This book avoids self-pity in favor of mindful positivity. 19. How Divorce Became My Deliverance, edited by Elona Washington This collection of essays by divorced Black women offers a positive long view on separation. Its an encouraging collection edited by a prominent publisher and guest blogger for Huffpost. 20. How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over by Theo Pauline Nestor Divorce pushed Nestor out of her stable middle-class existence and into single motherhood. After throwing out her gambling-addicted husband, she finds the way forward by exploring her familys past, while keeping her children foremost in her mind. 21. I Am Nujood, Age 10 And Divorced by Nujood Ali Nujoods experience departs significantly from the others on this list. A child bride to an abuser in Yemen, she obtained her freedom after a heartbreaking struggle. 22. Split: A Memoir Of Divorce by Suzanne Finnamore Ignoring signs of her husbands infidelity didnt save Finnamores marriage. However, moving on from her subsequent divorce did make her a stronger person. 23. Were Still Family: What Grown Children Have to Say About Their Parents Divorce  by Constance Ahrons The specter of ruined childhood haunts many divorcees, but it might not be entirely valid. This collection of short essays by the children of divorce suggests not only that positive outcomes are possible, but that kids can join their parents in moving through divorce resiliently. Hit the comments to share your picks for the best divorce books.